How to Shine in 2019
Here we go again! We’re preparing to finish the story of our lives in 2018, and start a brand new chapter. How are you feeling about this year? Are you proud of the way the year went? Did you overcome your challenges with grace? Or was this year a dumpster fire?
Regardless of your personal review on this year, ringing in the new year is usually wrapped in boundless excitement, hope, and big declarations. If we’re being really honest, though, stepping into the new year also comes with high anxiety. Anxiety about not sticking to your resolutions and the feelings of failure associated with that.
As it turns out, the ritual of making New Year’s Resolutions is almost doomed to fail before you even begin. Why? Because usually resolutions are not connected to your bigger picture. You haven’t explored the pain points that are at the root of your resolutions or you haven’t settled into your ‘why.’ Instead, resolutions are typically set because it’s what feels “right.” These resolutions are tied to what you “think” you should be doing according to the Joneses that you may be trying to keep up with and not to what’s truly important to you…and only you.
Here are just 6 ways to shift your momentum, your mindset, and channel your actions for the new year in a more productive and personalized way that will help you to shine:
Define What Hurts Right Now
Instead of setting generic resolutions, look inward at your own life, needs, and values and identify what hurts. What is making you unhappy? What has you feeling like now is the time to make a shift? How do you want to feel after the shift has been made? Once you explore these types of questions, you will begin to have more clarity which means your goals will be rooted in something that’s meaningful to you.
Where Are You Going?
Again, sometimes our goals and resolutions are based on feelings of pressure to keep up with others and what we think we should be doing. This usually means we haven’t actually haven’t thought much about what our vision is for our year or even our life. Starting with where you want to be, why you want to be there, what you want to have accomplished, and how you want to feel about it when you arrive is a fabulous way to reverse engineer our goals in a way that works for us! I might be biased, but I really love my Google Maps or Waze analogy when breaking this topic down. The bottom line is this: If you don’t know your destination — the address or even the intersection — the navigation app can’t tell you the steps to take to get there.
So, start with a plan. Chances are your plan will change or new ideas will pop up as you get going, but you at least you are moving in a direction that’s in the vicinity of where you want to be.
Set Your Personal Requirements
Have you thought about what your top needs and values are? These personal requirements serve as your compass or your roadmap. These personal requirements are similar in nature, but needs tell us what’s important to us right now, and values point to what we care about long-term.
By identifying our needs, we can paint a clearer picture of what makes us feel alive right now and helps us tune into our deepest desires. When we name our values, we lay claim to what we stand for and what has to be present in order for us to feel like we are living on and with purpose, and like we are honoring ourselves. If you’ve ever betrayed yourself and your values, you know it instantly. You might have a hard time looking at yourself in the mirror or sleeping at night, you’re likely replaying the situation or the conversation in your head over and over again wishing for a different outcome, your chest is probably tight and burns a little bit, and/or you probably feel this wave of nausea come over you. I’ve experienced all of these things when I’ve knowingly stepped over my values. Believe me when I say, these are not a pleasant set of feelings.
That said, when you have clarity on your needs and values, you have a blueprint for making important life decisions. It’s amazing how much power lives in defining and standing by our values. Our values are truly the lens through which we do everything! When you live in accordance with your values, no one can stop your show AND you will truly be shining!
What Do You Enjoy?
This seems pretty basic, right? Wrong. Through my coaching, conducting interviews, and facilitating workshops, I’ve been surprised at how hard it is for people to name the things they want and that make them happy. Connecting with what you love (or even like) to do is the easiest way to shine, people! Instead of filling your moments of solitude with endless scrolling on social media, try to give yourself the gift of self-awareness. Take some time to learn about you, who you are, and who you like to be when all the hats you wear come off!
Take Action. Celebrate. Repeat.
We live in a culture that is heavily focused on grinding and hustling. This constant go-go-go mentality can drive you, but it has a shelf life. After a while it can be draining, cause burnout, and leave you feeling devalued because you don’t take the time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished before moving onto the next thing.
So, first, let’s take action. Instead of over-analyzing all the things that can go wrong and how you want to do something perfectly, just take a step. You can’t learn and grow and get closer to achieving your goal if you don’t take action. Also, when you don’t take action, you tend to continue not taking action. Newton’s First Law of Motion, anyone? Next, celebrate the action that you just took. Celebrate that you didn’t let fear of failure and your inner perfectionist have more power then your goal, dream, or desire. While celebrating, you can also set aside time to assess where you can improve. By doing this, you’ll help keep that pesky inner critic at bay. Then, take action again…and repeat the process.
Get An Accountability Partner
Who can help you? Stepping outside of our comfort zone, getting out of your own way, and not giving into the negative self talk, or the thoughts of not being ready or not being good enough can be tough. We’ve had a long time to create our stories as to why we don’t, can’t, or shouldn’t do certain things. Having a voice other than the loud ones in your head that is encouraging, that challenges you to stretch yourself, and tells you what you need to hear — and not what you want to hear — can make all the difference in the world. Of course, you alone are capable of achieving the goals you set out to achieve, but let’s be really honest here…if you know that no one is going to be checking in on you and your progress, you are probably less likely to take action. Having a personal board of directors can be invaluable to you and your progress.
Are you ready to shine in 2019? You already have the answers within, and sometimes you just need a little push to get out of your own way so you can find those answers. If you want an accountability partner in your corner to help you get clarity on your vision, to think outside the box when putting your plan of action in place, and to keep you on track when you start getting in your own way, let’s talk! Reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or do a quick gut-check on if coaching is right for you. You don’t have to go it alone!